Secret Desires and Strange Fantasies
You might be here because some part of who you are sexually is not matching up with who you want to be. I once worked with a woman who experienced a great deal of shame when she masturbated--even to the point of physical pain. Some of the images that got her turned on even resembled her past abuse. Even though solo sex is healthy and can be practiced in private, it felt to her like a shameful secret.
She described her behavior as “dirty, like a guy sitting on the couch in a trench coat.”
I asked her what she’d rather be. She answered, “Like a Victoria's Secret Angel.” She talked about wanting to be more playful and sexy with her current, non-abusive boyfriend. That required bringing her desires out of the dark and into the light of her relationship.
Do you worry that your sexual desires will break apart your relationship?
She described her behavior as “dirty, like a guy sitting on the couch in a trench coat.”
I asked her what she’d rather be. She answered, “Like a Victoria's Secret Angel.” She talked about wanting to be more playful and sexy with her current, non-abusive boyfriend. That required bringing her desires out of the dark and into the light of her relationship.
Do you worry that your sexual desires will break apart your relationship?
Rediscover Your Passion
The Big "O"
Did you never used to have trouble getting turned on before you found somebody you care about, but now it’s boring even disgusting? Does sex seem like a chore that you would rather get over with? Can you mostly have good sex but can’t finish or orgasm with your partner?
I am here to guide you if you’ve never experienced an orgasm. I can also give you some tips on overcoming the blocks that have prevented you from reaching orgasm.
I am here to guide you if you’ve never experienced an orgasm. I can also give you some tips on overcoming the blocks that have prevented you from reaching orgasm.
Reinterpret your notion of pleasure
Pain is not the default. You deserve pleasure. Everyone can have pleasure during sex and everyone has the capacity to orgasm. We can find what works for you together.
Sex "Addiction"
As a Sex Educator and Sex Therapist, I am ethically bound to tell you that sex addiction does not exist!
Sex is not an addictive substance like heroine or painkillers. You will not die from too much sex. However, your behavior might resembles drug abuse in that it causes you to compulsively lie or cheat.
The truth is that sex is natural and sex addiction can almost always be explained by some other mental health issue such as mania, OCD, or anxiety. Maybe you feel like you’re not in control of the kind of sex you’re having, and it’s starting to impact your relationship(s) so much so that your partner is encouraging couples therapy. Maybe your sexual behaviors have gotten you into legal trouble or jeopardized your health.
Sexual Abuse & Sex Solutions is here to help you understand and fix the root of your problematic sexual behaviors. I especially love to help people who find themselves compulsively acting out their sexual abuse or who habitually choose unhealthy relationships.
Sex is not an addictive substance like heroine or painkillers. You will not die from too much sex. However, your behavior might resembles drug abuse in that it causes you to compulsively lie or cheat.
The truth is that sex is natural and sex addiction can almost always be explained by some other mental health issue such as mania, OCD, or anxiety. Maybe you feel like you’re not in control of the kind of sex you’re having, and it’s starting to impact your relationship(s) so much so that your partner is encouraging couples therapy. Maybe your sexual behaviors have gotten you into legal trouble or jeopardized your health.
Sexual Abuse & Sex Solutions is here to help you understand and fix the root of your problematic sexual behaviors. I especially love to help people who find themselves compulsively acting out their sexual abuse or who habitually choose unhealthy relationships.
Porn "Addiction"
Is the pornography you’re watching not even the type of sex you like to have? Is porn taking up way too much of your time? Do you feel guilty that you would sometimes rather watch porn than have sex? Are you fine with your porn use, but your partner just needs to see how it can make sex better between you? Does it seem like your partner is cheating on you with the actors on the screen?
Porn in and of itself can be fun, sexy, and normal to watch whether you’re single or romantically attached. I’ll work with you and your partner to argue less about the porn. Together we may get to the bottom of the underlining issues impacting your sexual relationship with your partner. Couples therapy may unearth a middle ground.
Porn doesn’t have to come between you and your relationship(s). Call me to hear how.
Porn in and of itself can be fun, sexy, and normal to watch whether you’re single or romantically attached. I’ll work with you and your partner to argue less about the porn. Together we may get to the bottom of the underlining issues impacting your sexual relationship with your partner. Couples therapy may unearth a middle ground.
Porn doesn’t have to come between you and your relationship(s). Call me to hear how.
Realign with your body
Sexual Acting Out
Do you have sex to get the upper hand? Do you hurt your partners so that they can’t hurt you first? Are you spinning out of control since learning that you have an STI? Can you initiate sex but can’t stay focused in it once you get going? Do you keep going back to the places and partners that got you hurt before?
Common Feelings:
- Shame
- Frustration
- Guilt
- Disgust
- Secretiveness
- Anger
Sometimes a sexual assault, a health issues, or fighting for respect in an abusive relationship can make us feel like our bodies are not our own. You might be acting out some part of your hurt whether you mean to or not. I can help you put the brakes on unwanted sexual behaviors through individual therapy and start a journey towards healing.