Quandra Chaffers, LCSW, CST, CSE
I am a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW76740) with over 10 years of experience treating sexual trauma and teaching healthy sexuality.
I’m a Bay Area Native. I grew up in San Francisco, the birth place of free love. I went to grade school in Berkeley and Oakland. Activism and social justice have always been woven into my outlook on life. A proud nerd, my free time is often spent reading graphic novels, watching sci-fi movies, and reading political-think pieces.
I am a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW76740) with over 10 years of experience treating sexual trauma and teaching healthy sexuality.
I’m a Bay Area Native. I grew up in San Francisco, the birth place of free love. I went to grade school in Berkeley and Oakland. Activism and social justice have always been woven into my outlook on life. A proud nerd, my free time is often spent reading graphic novels, watching sci-fi movies, and reading political-think pieces.
Why did you specialize in sexual abuse?
My passion for treating trauma and setting others on their path to healing started in undergrad. In a Freshman class, I sat across from several tearful classmates as they began recounting their stories of sexual assault. The discussion came in the wake of a Take Back the Night event that quickly escalated into a march for awareness. In a class of roughly 25 young women I was one of about 6 that had not been abused either in childhood or within her first couple months of attending college.
At that moment, I was overwhelmed. I could not grasp how rape could happen to so many people, and yet everyone could feel so alone. I reached out to San Francisco Women Against Rape (SFWAR) in my summer break. Within a couple of months, I became a certified a crisis-line counselor.
At that moment, I was overwhelmed. I could not grasp how rape could happen to so many people, and yet everyone could feel so alone. I reached out to San Francisco Women Against Rape (SFWAR) in my summer break. Within a couple of months, I became a certified a crisis-line counselor.
Why did you become a sex therapist?
I spent years growing as a clinician treating survivors of sexual assault and childhood sexual abuse. When the survivors I treated got better, they naturally discovered healthy relationships and consensual sex, sometime for the first times in their lives! I wanted to be sure I was giving them the real deal about good sex. I audited a course at Washington University in St. Louis entitled Healthy Sexuality Across the Life Course when I was being supervised for AASECT Certification. Eventually, I helped teach that course as an Adjunct Professor!
But I wasn't raped... How can you help me?

We get a lot of messages across our lifetime that sex is dirty and that our desires are shameful. These messages force us into secretive behaviors and “sex addiction.” I can help you figure out how these messages are doing you harm.
Sometimes we get diagnosed with STIs. Sometimes we discover our partners are having affairs. Sometime sex becomes a challenge due to medical issues, pain, or infertility. Instead of seeing these events as something that happened to us we see it as something wrong with us- confirmation that “I’m not enough,” “I’m disgusting,” or “I’m unlovable.”
Sometime people just want extra support from all the micro-aggressions that get absorbed throughout their day for being a woman in an male dominated workspace or a person of color in a sexual minority. I help with all of these issues.
Sometimes we get diagnosed with STIs. Sometimes we discover our partners are having affairs. Sometime sex becomes a challenge due to medical issues, pain, or infertility. Instead of seeing these events as something that happened to us we see it as something wrong with us- confirmation that “I’m not enough,” “I’m disgusting,” or “I’m unlovable.”
Sometime people just want extra support from all the micro-aggressions that get absorbed throughout their day for being a woman in an male dominated workspace or a person of color in a sexual minority. I help with all of these issues.
Why Should I Trust You?

There are a lot of people out there selling misinformation and quick fixes for better sex. They may have been other professionals like doctors, therapists, and coaches. They may have been your friends or partners. But I’m here to correct that bad advise. I assign homework in between sessions so that you can continue to grow outside of my office.
Some people confuse sex therapy with sex surrogacy.
Sex therapy primarily resembles talk therapy. Meaning, neither you or I will be getting naked in session. Therapists never have sex with clients!
I also won’t force you to tell your story unless you’re ready. Outside of session, you won't be required to engage in sexual situations before you're ready. I won’t find abuse where there is none. So in short… I trust you to know what you need! I would welcome the opportunity to earn your trust in return.
Some people confuse sex therapy with sex surrogacy.
Sex therapy primarily resembles talk therapy. Meaning, neither you or I will be getting naked in session. Therapists never have sex with clients!
I also won’t force you to tell your story unless you’re ready. Outside of session, you won't be required to engage in sexual situations before you're ready. I won’t find abuse where there is none. So in short… I trust you to know what you need! I would welcome the opportunity to earn your trust in return.
Do You See People Like Me?

I believe that social justice includes tearing down the walls between you and quality therapy. You won’t have to hide one or some of your partners from me to come to therapy. I do however encourage honesty and consent even in non-monogamous relationships. I’ll support you in all relationship models including living apart-together, swinging, open relationships, polyfidelity, and monogamish relationships if that’s your thing.
I am a kink-knowledgeable and poly-knowledgeable therapist. I affirm gender and sexual diversity.
I know that issues with sex and overcoming rape can be hard enough at the intersection of being a person of color, a man, queer, trans, non-binary, kinky, and/or polyam. I won’t make everything about your sexual identity even though it may be a big part of your healing. Your sexual orientation is not a phase. My job is to get you feeling better by focusing on the sexual issue that brought you to me.
I am a kink-knowledgeable and poly-knowledgeable therapist. I affirm gender and sexual diversity.
I know that issues with sex and overcoming rape can be hard enough at the intersection of being a person of color, a man, queer, trans, non-binary, kinky, and/or polyam. I won’t make everything about your sexual identity even though it may be a big part of your healing. Your sexual orientation is not a phase. My job is to get you feeling better by focusing on the sexual issue that brought you to me.
How Do I Know You're Not A Quack?

Spelman College, Bachelor of Arts in Psychology
Washington University in St. Louis, The Brown School of Social Work, Master of Arts in Social Work
California Board of Behavioral Sciences, Licensed Clinical Social Worker #76740
Missouri State Committee for Social Workers, Licensed Clinical Social Worker #2014026535
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing International Association (EMDRIA) Certified EMDR Therapist ID#32611187 & Approved Consultant.
American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Sex Educator ID#1200194
Washington University in St. Louis, The Brown School of Social Work, Master of Arts in Social Work
California Board of Behavioral Sciences, Licensed Clinical Social Worker #76740
Missouri State Committee for Social Workers, Licensed Clinical Social Worker #2014026535
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing International Association (EMDRIA) Certified EMDR Therapist ID#32611187 & Approved Consultant.
American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Sex Educator ID#1200194
Call me for a free 15 minute consultation
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