​Is this threesome a transaction or home training? Like a doggy treat that will get him to sit- sit at home for three more months, without cheating. Is this to buy yourself some peace of mind because you do back flips to keep him from being emotionally abusive to you, but you still cannot consistently predict his moods? I promise you that a threesome will not make him behave in these situations. It's more likely that the threesome will give him permission to do more of the same.
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This one is specifically for my straight women in the audience, especially black women who have internalized the harmful racist and sexist myth that "What I won't do, Becky will." 

​When I started doing batters intervention work and providing sexual assault advocacy services, we in the field often talked about stalking through use of technology like GPS tracking systems as though they were rare, new-aged gizmos that only some abusers knew how to use. Now everyone has a GPS system on their phones, and these capabilities are built into several common social media apps. Stalking in "real life" was otherwise characterized as harassment at work, being followed home, and sending unwanted letters. Repeated sexting and texting was also just starting to be recognized as grounds for violating protection orders and the like. 

However, in today's age, what happens online informs what happens offline. Everyone has a smartphone, and even the most unsophisticated stalker-abuser knows how to use one. Cyber-stalking is not its own form of stalking, it is inherent to stalking in general. To be honest, the old definition is the new definition but now we need to create safety plans and therapy services that address stalking online and offline at the same damn time.

Have you ever heard "if your cannot ask for what you want in sex, maybe you're not ready to have sex." I used to believe this maxim myself before I started having sex. I realized that my shyness prevented me from being directive. My shyness was mainly due to a lack of confidence. However, I eventually learned to articulate my needs all the same. My lack of confidence did not mean that I was too immature to be having sex. I also had a healthy and supportive partner. So, here are some tips for the shy person who has a sexy idea but who doesn't want to ruin the mood by bringing it up:

When I facilitated batters interventions programming I would routinely call out the men who were not yet committed to changing their behaviors by identifying their denial tactics. I discussed these 3 of these tactics as it pertains to Kevin Spacey and his tweeted response to Anthony Rapp’s account of being molested: Blaming An Outside Factor, Staying Stuck in Self-Pity, Forgetting What Happened.

​On Dr. Nazanin Maoli's podcast Sexology, she and I briefly touched on how Roy Moore, the judge turned politician, is skilled in Distorting the Facts which I'll expound on below. However, he also uses Forgetting What Happened, which you can see in the quote below. I talked a lot about that tactics in regards to Spacey's statement already, so I'll just skip it for now.

Here are 4 more tactics that Roy Moore uses regularly as he continues to run for Alabama State Senate. All of the following quotes can be found in the Sean Hannity interview.